Terry Hershey

A business executive wanted to encourage his staff to take more risks; to understand that life at its best or fullest, means not always playing it safe. At a staff meeting he passed out little pieces of paper, each stamped "Forgiveness Coupon." Each employee received two coupons.

He told the gathered group, "We keep telling you to take risks. But if you are really going to risk or try or dream or love, you are going to make mistakes. These coupons give you permission to make a mistake, free and clear, without fear of retribution, blaming or scapegoating." The staff listened flabbergasted.

The manager added, "And each of you is expected to use both coupons by the end of the year."

An hour later, a staff member handed a coupon to the executive, "I would like to use my first one."
"What on earth did you do?"
"Five minutes ago I Xeroxed ten more copies."

I'm with that guy.
Two coupons a year are not enough.
I needed that many just this week.
Mistake. Error. Blunder. Transgression. Screw-up. Call it what you want. (There is no doubt we will even swear it was not our fault. Like Adam and Eve said a long time ago, "The snake made us do it.")

We trip up and make bad choices. Sometimes, we can even see it coming. And then there is a tear; a mis-communication, misunderstanding, hard feelings, hurt. Or something inside ruptures. And we curse our frailty, our vulnerability, our humanity.
"How did I get here?" we ask. "I did not sign up for this." Above all else, we are certain we are failures.

I was inculcated early in a religious faith predicated on perfection, or the promise of paradise. (The ultimate goal was "getting out of Dodge." The "coupon" was my ticket to heaven, away from the complications and struggles of this life.)

(I still feel the tug of that oppressive theology, reminding me that one, "you are nothing, a worm, and therefore not to be trusted." And two, "this world is meaningless. So delight and wonder and presence take a back seat to 'making the grade,' 'looking good,' and 'keeping your nose clean.' Or as one friend told me, "My parent's most used line, 'Don't ever embarrass us or God.'")

In the movie, The Mission, Rodrigo Mendoza (Robert De Niro) loses his love to his brother, and then kills his brother in a pique of rage. His world is on tilt.
He is visited in his cell by Father Gabriel (Jeremy Irons), who is told "He won't see anybody. I think he wants to die."
In the cell Mendoza tells Fr. Gabriel, "You don't know what I am."
Fr. Gabriel, "Yes. You are a mercenary. You are a slave trader. And you killed your bother. I know. But you loved him, although you chose a strange way to show it."
Mendoza, "For me there is no redemption."

Some of us have felt that way. Like there is no reason to get up in the morning. It is made all the more thorny if we see our imperfection as an enemy (predicament or obstacle) to be overcome.
We do not see Grace.
We see only our shortcomings, and not our potential.
And we live full of fear.

A famous minister agreed to preach the sermon at a Union Gospel Mission. (An urban ministry for street people, where the men are required to sit through a sermon and church service before they are fed.) The minister was reluctant, believing it to be beneath his prominence and an exercise in futility.
He preached. No one paid attention. They were waiting for their dinner.
After, he fumed to his guest (the Mission Director), "What a waste. Of my time and theirs. I'm sorry I agreed to be involved."
The Director calmly walked the minister to his car and then said, "Thank you for coming. Oh, by the way. I used to be one of them."

Life is difficult. I get that part. But in our lottery culture, we want the coupon that guarantees a life of smooth sailing. So focused, we miss the coupon of Grace. That inside this conflicted, brilliant, complicated, deeply flawed self is a light, capable of love, the very reflection and image of God.

If you need a coupon this week, I hope you use one. There's more where that came from. And if you know someone who needs a coupon, I hope you give them one.

Here's the deal: All of us are fighting this battle, and for that reason, we need to be gentle with ourselves and tender with one another.

If you don't have a coupon, use this Sabbath Moment as the permission to sit still, and let go of the stuff that keeps you stuck.

There's a law of the universe that says, 'when you feel lousy, go to a parade.' Lucky for me, yesterday we had parade on the island. It is our annual Strawberry Festival. It's an hour of idiosyncratic islanders, which includes a dozen members of The Old Tractor Club, a car full of the Red Hat Ladies, our grocery store synchronized-cart-drill-team, our marching-garden-club (comprised of middle-aged-women carrying sharp garden utensils, making a fair number of middle-aged men nervous), our high-school state champ basketball team (boys we've watched grow up here); the entire occasion attended by a spirit of good will. And like some of the balloons, gifts from the clowns, I watched my disenchantment vanish into the summer sky.

Life was not easy yesterday. But it did not need to be. I used a coupon, and found my day filled with delight. And I was glad to be alive.

(Note: The Forgiveness Coupon story adapted from The Story Factor by Annette Simmons)

Poems / Prayers

To Risk
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.
William Arthur Ward

Respite
Day after quiet day passes.
I speak to no one besides the dog.
To her,
I murmur much I would not otherwise say.
We make plans
then break them on a moment's whim.
She agrees;
though sometimes bringing
to my attention a small blue ball.
Passing the fig tree
I see it is
suddenly huge with green fruit,
which may ripen or not.
Near the gate,
I stop to watch
the sugar ants climb the top bar
and cross at the latch,
as they have now in summer for years.
In this way I study my life.
It is,
I think today,
like a dusty glass vase.
A little water,
a few flowers would be good,
I think;
but do nothing. Love is far away.
Incomprehensible sunlight falls on my hand.
Jane Hirshfield, The Lives of the Heart. © Harper Perennial, 1997.

God,
be with those who explore in the cause of understanding, whose search takes them far from what is familiar and comfortable and leads them into danger or terrifying loneliness.
Let us try to understand their sometimes strange or difficult ways; their confronting or unusual language; the uncommon life of their emotions, for they have been affected and shaped and changed by their struggle at the frontiers of a wild darkness, just as we may be affected, shaped, and changed by the insights they bring back to us.
Bless them with strength and peace.
Amen.
Michael Leunig

News and Notes

Music from The Mission.
www.youtube.TheMission

Sungha Jung plays 'Tears in Heaven' arranged by Masa Sumide. www.youtube.tears

New pictures of Terry's garden
authors.loyolapress.garden

Favorites from last week:

Josh Groben's Thankful
www.youtube.Groben

Photographer Jim Crotty presents "Simple Gifts," set to the classic Shaker traditional performed by Yo-Yo Ma and Alison Krauss.
www.youtube.simple/photos

Look for Terry's new book,
The Power of Pause: becoming more by doing less,
available soon.
loyolapress.terryhershey

Sabbath Moments:
To See God In All Things


Born To Dance:
Live life fully from the inside out

---

 

Take a Summer Break.

Join Terry at the
THE RELAX, REFUEL, RESTART RETREAT.

Don't miss it.
Begin making plans to attend. To register your group,
call Karin Kurtz at Loyola Press,
at 773-281-1818 x287.
www.loyolapress.com/relax

The Relax, Refuel, Restart Retreat is a great way for parish / church leaders, for your leadership team, for key lay-leaders, for anyone in parish / church ministry to rest, re-energize, and take steps to find balance in their busy lives. Find the city in your area and bring your entire parish / church leadership team! You will not want to miss this day.
Call 773-281-1818 x 287

Register

Southern California
Los Angeles Area
Monday, August 3, 2009: St. Peter Claver Church, Simi Valley
Tuesday, August 4, 2009: Our Lady of the Assumption Parish, Ventura
Wednesday, August 5, 2009: Holy Angels Parish, Arcadia
Thursday, August 6, 2009: St. Bruno Parish, Whittier
Orange County
Friday, August 7, 2009: St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish, Irvine
Monday, August 10, 2009: San Francisco Solano Parish, Rancho Santa Margarita
San Diego
Tuesday, August 11, 2009: St. Francis of Assisi Church, Vista
Wednesday, August 12, 2009: St. John the Evangelist Parish, San Diego

Greater Seattle Area
Monday, September 21, 2009: Blessed Sacrament Parish, Seattle, WA
Tuesday, September 22, 2009: St. Madeleine Sophie Parish, Bellevue, WA
Wednesday, September 23, 2009: St. Nicholas Parish, Gig Harbor, WA
Thursday, September 24, 2009: St. Stephen the Martyr Parish, Renton, WA
Register

October 4-5, 2009
Columbus, Ohio
Put on your Dancing Shoes
www.fcchurch

November 6 - 8, 2009
Retreat with Terry
Franciscan Renewal Center
Scottsdale, AZ
Becoming More by Doing Less
franciscanrenewalcenter

---

 

Share Our Site:


Look for this Share Box at the bottom of any web page to email to a friend or to share on Facebook or any social bookmarking site.

---

 

• Inspiration
• Sabbath Moment
• Join Newsletter
• Subscribe to Blog
• Terry On Video
• Send Us Your Story
• Home