Thanks for the great feedback after the last blog, about Anhedonia — absence of pleasure. But it is not absence so much, as buried. We have placed a higher premium on armor (living defended in the name of self-protection or public opinion or fear) than on the possibility of the exquisite touch of another soul — a connection where we risk or care or listen or give or receive or hurt or bless – albeit messy, complicated, frustrating and often fragmented. It is difficult to believe that the exquisite touch can happen even though our life may be on tilt. Let us embrace the truth that love is above all, imperfect. Can we live with that?
We assume we have to change something about ourselves for this transformation to take place. This week I received three emails (from different companies / magazines) that offered these enticements:
–Top ten relaxation hotels.
–Top ten places to smile in Orlando.
–Top ten places in the world, to find wonder.
I have no doubt there are places to smile in Orlando. Probably not after three full days at Disney, but that’s another story altogether (that’s called top ten places to have a beer, and then smile). Here’s what I’m wondering — why do I need to buy into the notion that I must “go somewhere” other than where I am right now, in order to experience wonder or relaxation or a smile? Here’s the deal: if we don’t take it with us, we’re not going to find it there.
(Although, to hedge my bets, I did book a weekend at one of those hotels. You know, just in case. . .and no, it is not in Orlando. . .)
Let’s keep talking about this. I’ve savored the conversation. Some emailed me instead of posting, so here’s a few gems that were sent my way. . .
The paradox is that as integral to life as suffering is, it is matched by wonder. When we are invited into both suffering and wonder, then contradiction and dissonance proliferate, raising big questions and activating the imagination in its search for meaning and faith. Joan Baez once said, “I do not know whether it is worse to bring a child into this world and submit him or her to the disease we call society, or to refuse to bring a child into this world and thus rob him or her of one glorious red sunset.” Sharon Parks
If you don’t defend yourself against life, you have more soul in your character. But we usually defend against that part of life we consider objectionable. Jung, who is one of the modern masters of soul, called it shadow. As it presents itself, life is complex and doesn’t fit well into our moral and intellectual categories. We may try to keep our lives clean and germ-free, thereby keeping the soul out. Thomas More
Great YouTube video of a giggling baby
5 Comments
It's very true that we sometimes feel the need to be somewhere else to experience the relaxation or those moments of wonder.
Every summer I look forward to going out to Oak Creek Canyon in Arizona. I think about it and how I will feel when I'm there. It's as if this magical place will transform me into what I always wanted. I hate to leave there and come back into the "real world." It is very frustrating that I can't give myself the same freedom at home to just be. I'm working on it. It's almost like going away will make me be the best version of myself. That's nuts because it reminds me of that book-Wherever You Go There You Are. It's an ongoing process. I think that it's all about seeing the wonder in the ordinary as you speak of often. I have to trust that it's buried just below the surface and that it can happen anytime or anywhere no matter how my life is tilting. Sometimes it just seems so hard.
Great sequel to yesterday's post. Although I have traveled quite a bit over the years, I do not believe you have to go anywhere to experience wonder. That ia akin to the fish looking for water. What I do think travel does is jolt our eyes open, forcibly strip away the habits of inattention, and so it feels liberating and joyful. Mindfulness or centeredness and openness can do the same.
Just love your blog and the comments as well.
Am smiling right through my toes watching that baby giggle. Thanks for that one.
I googled anhedonia and thought this might be an answer to my desperate searching…I was wrong. It’s an article about travel and vacation and maybe pleasure. But you guys don’t know what anhedonia is- it’s not the absence of pleasure. It’s the complete and total disappearance of ANY POSITIVE EMOTION WHATSOEVER, and a smothering empty feeling of unconsciousness, emptiness, living life with the permanent feeling that you’re halfway dead. Maybe the next time you title something Anhedonia, it will actually address Anhedonia. Because there’s a few of us out there that desperately need this condition addressed.
I googled Anhedonia and found this, thinking it might be an answer to my desperate searching. Instead it’s an article about travel, vacation and maybe pleasure. But you guys don’t even know what Anhedonia is- it’s not the “inability to experience pleasure.” What it is is the complete and total disappearance of ANY POSITIVE EMOTION WHATSOEVER accompanied by a feeling of permanent emptiness, unconsciousness, and a smothering state of feeling halfway dead. So if you are going to write something and call it “Anhedonia” please make it about that.