Do you know about scotoma?
It is selective seeing, or more specifically, selective blindness.
In relationships, we see what we want to see. Which means that more than likely, I see a label I have attached to you. (And remember this: once you label someone, you dismiss them.)
It all hit me this week. I spent some time with a person I had “labeled.” And my label created expectations and its own kind of baggage. And scotoma. Here’s the deal: if I don’t begin any encounter or relationship with the assumption that we are connected–or belong to one another, or are brother or sister, or share a common humanity–then I have no alternative but to see you as a competitor or an adversary. And when I do that, I begin (and conduct) each encounter defended or defensive or fearful or cynical or antagonistic.
This doesn’t mean we don’t have fractures, misunderstanding, disappointment or disputes. This doesn’t mean that relationships don’t have ebbs and flows. This doesn’t mean that relationships do not end. It does mean that we work through them–wherever we are, and toward whichever direction we are headed–from a place of kindness.
Namaste is a Hindu word. It means literally, “I bow to you,” but has come to mean “I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me.”
It wouldn’t hurt if we started with ourselves. Sometimes, we can be least kind to the person living in our own skin.
