ignore top right image

Sabbath Moment

hallway

Losing what I don't need

September 08, 2008

Without solitude of some sort, there is and can be no maturity. Unless one becomes empty and alone, he cannot give himself in love, because he does not possess the deep self which is the only gift worthy of love. Thomas Merton

Everybody has a hungry heart. Bruce Springsteen

Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight and I'm going to drink till I get my fill. Bruce Springsteen

You can't have everything... where would you put it? Stephen Wright

As Alexander the Great was passing through Corinth, he sought out the famous philosopher Diogenes, and found him sitting under a tree, dressed in rags, with not a drachma to his name. When the most powerful man in the world asked the philosopher if he could do anything, or give anything to help him, Diogenes replied, "Yes, if you could step out of the way I would be grateful. You are blocking the sun."

I'm not big on bumper sticker theology. So even if Bob Marley is singing it, this story goes beyond "don't worry, be happy."

Here is what I find interesting: we assume that something outside of ourselves will improve our lot in life. Which caused Pascal to ask (a long time ago), "If our condition were truly happy, why would we seek diversion from it in order to make ourselves happy?"

Advertisements fuel the fire, no doubt. I just saw the new statistic that to be "truly happy" in retirement, it would be good to have 5 million dollars set aside. Okay. How much will I need to save to be mildly unperturbed?

Blame it on age, but I tend to lose a lot of stuff. Misplace. Forget. And every time, it unnerves me.

I forget things when I pack for my travels; my lecture notes, a tie, a shirt or my socks. Thank god for e-tickets and cell phones with memory dial.

On my last trip, l left a sweatshirt on the plane. I lost my glasses. My favorite glasses. The ones that made me look young, handsome, desirable. I lost one of my favorite pens. I lost my cell phone. After looking for an hour, I found it, hooked onto my back jeans pocket.

What is it about losing stuff, ordinary stuff, that exacerbates and depletes us?

There is something about the significance we attach to stuff. I just finished Alain de Botton's fine book, Status Anxiety, about what happens when we need to keep up with someone, or something, or some perception about the way life should be. Always something just beyond our grasp.

So we collect stuff: accouterments, titles, opinions, belief systems, toys, and retirement funds. Somehow, we need this stuff to be somebody.

We can learn the hard way. Don Shula, famous former coach of the Miami Dolphins was vacationing (with his family) in a small northeastern town. A one theater town. The family wanted to go to the afternoon matinee. With tickets in hand, they entered the theater. A young man near the back, stood, faced Shula and applauded and cheered and shouted.
Shula was taken aback, but duly impressed. He approached the young man and shook his hand.
"Thank you," he told the young man. "Not many people recognize me up here, and not many are as effusive in their appreciation."
The young man said, "Sir, I don't know you from Adam. But the theater owner said he would not show the movie unless there were ten people. And you are number ten."

Who are we without our stuff?

There's a story that Socrates saw a heap of gold and jewelry being carried through the streets of Athens. Seeing it he exclaimed, "Look how many things there are which I don't need or want." Impressive. Imagine him walking through Costco!

In John's Gospel Jesus has died. Mary is despondent. She visits the grave, but Jesus is not there. I understand her anxiety; I've lost something vital. I need it. Where did you put it?

At this, Mary turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
"Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."
Jesus said to her, "Mary."

One word. Mary. In saying her name, what freedom did Jesus give? We know that Mary has a connection with Jesus that is profound and life altering. But notice this: the power of the relationship-which Jesus triggers with a simple affirmation of her name, Mary-is no longer outside of her self. Or of myself. Mary, (Jesus is saying) that which you seek is already here. And is already inside of you. She hears the truth when she is stopped from her frenetic search.

I need to be challenged to sit still long enough to know that to see, to be present, to be aware, to be responsible comes from the inside. It is from this place that I make choices, work, create, relate, give and receive.

I had a bad day, some phone calls that shook me, made me wonder about my own sufficiency and value. I'm on my back deck now nursing a little self-pity. The sun is on my face, the sound of our stream and waterfall lull me. One of our cats is in deep slumber under my chair. Zach is on the lawn practicing, wearing his new David Beckham shirt. I hear the Dixie Chicks from my study sound system, "The easy silence that you make for me." The canna lilies in the pot near my chair are a deep blood red.

But even here, in my anxiety, I need something. I've lost something. Like Mary, "tell me where it is, I'll go find it."

And in the breeze, I hear one word: Terry.

I don't know if there is a patron saint for this kind of afternoon. But I say a prayer nonetheless.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson
Poems / Prayers

from "Asphodel, That Greeny Flower"
Of asphodel, that greeny flower,
like a buttercup
upon its branching stem-
save that it's green and wooden-
I come, my sweet,
to sing to you.
We lived long together
a life filled,
if you will,
with flowers. So that
I was cheered
when I came first to know
that there were flowers also
in hell--
It is difficult
to get the news from poems
yet men die miserably every day
for lack
of what is found there.
William Carlos Williams

The Avowal
As swimmers dare
to lie face to the sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit's deep embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.
Denise Levertov

O God,
I thank You for this day of life
for eyes to see the sky
for ears to hear the birds
for feet to walk amidst the trees
for hands to pick the flowers from the earth
for a sense of smell to breathe in the sweet
perfumes of nature
for a mind to think about and appreciate
the magic of everyday miracles
for a spirit to swell in joy at Your mighty presence
everywhere.
Marian Wright Edelman

Men have looked away from themselves and at things so long that they have come to esteem what they call the soul's progress, namely, the religious, learned and civil institutions as guards of property, and they deprecate assaults on these, because they feel them to be assaults on property. They measure their esteem of each other by what each has, and not by what each is. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), "Self Reliance," Essays 1841

Peace,
Terry Hershey


 

Share