Solving life’s problems

Yes.  I unraveled a little bit this past week.  As one friend put it (speaking of the culmination of stress in his own life), “I didn’t wear that too well.”

Life’s stressful experiences are doled our randomly, some of our own making, but many just in the nature of a world with so many moving parts.

I recently sent out an invitation to join Sabbath Moment, and then our SHOP (or cart or site) had a Sybil episode, and links everyone to a page telling us we’ve “404rd” it.  Which is geek speak for, “you are sooo having a bad day, and require chocolate or wine straight away.  We do not recommend using any technology until you have ingested the required medication.”

So I spent the day doing emotional-recovery-therapy.  I walked 8.2 miles.  And all of that (only) inside of IKEA.  A store the size of a small town.  I even got lost.  I tried my iphone GPS in the store, but it required a Norwegian app, and I didn’t know the krone currency rate, so I continued to walk until I found my way, eavesdropping on conversations.  One woman was telling her friend, quite excitedly, “Ohhh, just look at that.  I need one of those!”  I rolled my eyes, but stopped to look, (of course), wondering if maybe that was exactly what I needed too.  There must be a that (experience, place, person, thing) somewhere. . .the answer to all our conundrums. (But sadly, if you buy it at IKEA, then. . .you have to assemble it.  And don’t we want the answer to life’s problems pre-assembled?)

So.  Back to the website.  One thing I appreciate about people who attend my workshops (or read my books or Sabbath Moment); they know that they can tell me like it is, and not pull any punches (about the invitation to Sabbath Moment membership).  It is as it should be.

“Terry, you whiffed on this one.”

“You are taking advantage of good church people.”  (Apparently it’s okay to take advantage of bad church people, but why quibble?)

“Terry, this would make a perfect infomercial.  Sabbath Moment for only $18.95!  Order today and receive a free Ephod thong!”  (Actually. . .that’s not a bad idea.)

The whiffed story reminds me of the little boy learning to play baseball.  He says to his dad, “Watch this!”  He throws the ball into the air, and swings to hit it a mile.  He misses.  He tries again.  Swings, and misses.  He tries again.  Swings, and misses.  The father says, tenderly, “That’s okay son, someday you’ll be able to hit it.”  “But dad, think about it.  I must be a great pitcher.”

The emails and comments have not all be pessimistic.  I am receiving wonderful affirmation from so many who make Sabbath Moment a part of their life.  Thank you. . .

I did receive an interesting comment, “Well, I’m sure you’re learning a lot of lessons.”  Which made me wonder. . .

Why does every experience require a “lesson learned?” (Can we just live it, and let the lesson take care of itself?) (These are the kinds of questions that roll around my little brain. . .you know. . .such as. . .)

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic’?
Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries’ have a ‘use by’ date?

So here’s the deal:  It is okay NOT to solve every problem in our life.

I know this: There is our emotional state.  And then there is our reaction to that emotional state.  And they are different.  It is difference between what is going on (our emotional state), and what we tell ourselves should be going on (our moral price tag to certain emotions).  Sadly, we spend all of our energy trying to extricate ourselves from this present moment, you know, in order that we can move on to an “easier life.”

Perhaps, our challenge and responsibility is to give ourselves over to it (this experience, this emotional reaction, this day) as best we can, remembering that what matters, is our attention to this moment—and what we bring to it.  In other words, to “just be.” Because what we get out of it, is not under our control.

I did get some great advice though.  This from a Sabbath Moment reader, telling me about her granddaughter.  Sometimes the little girl finds herself in social situations where she is unable to “control” her emotions or emotional outbursts.  Her mother has taught her to recognize these times, and to say to whomever she is with, “Excuse me, but now I have to go breathe.”

Amen.

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life.  But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid.  Then life would begin.  At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.  Alfred Souza