Grace in receiving self-care

This week, I had a Sabbath Moment reader tell me, “I am emotionally parched.”
And I do get it. Good choice of words. Maybe you can relate. At times spent, bewildered, or disheartened. Or at wit’s end.
Sometimes we do make big mental plans. And then, life happens. Another good reminder that, without even knowing it, there are times when we need space to be (and stay) emotionally and spiritually hydrated.
So, this week, let us embrace the power of pause. In other words, the permission be gentle with yourself.
And the permission to make (and honor) space(s) that can replenish and heal.
Gratefully, I slept a lot today, my body needing (and doing its best) to catch up. I smile as I write this, because there is something about self-care that feels selfish, and makes it a not-so-easy sentence to write.
Ahhh yes, when life feels heavy, we forget that we are all wired to be replenished. And care of any kind begins with self-care.
I stand by that, more than ever. Depletion and exhaustion, and being parched, may feel rampant, but there is healing grace in receiving the gift of self-care.
So. Where to focus this week?
One. Let us stay emotionally and spiritually hydrated.
Not that many years ago, I spoke to a group of hospice care workers here in the Pacific Northwest, about emotional and spiritual hydration. I started this way, “What I’m about to tell you is very selfish. I want self-care to matter to you. Yes, I want you to be replenished. Because one day, I will need one of you.”
No one of us is on this journey alone. And we need one another not only for care and comfort, but to pick up the pieces and find ways to create spaces in our world that do not diminish, belittle or devastate.
What can I do to create that kind of world?
Too often, when I see acts of courage I see heroism, and I don’t see myself. Or I see how far I have to go. Or I see how far short I have fallen.
But I do understand tired. And I do understand discouraged. And I do understand the end of my resources.
So let’s begin here: How’s your spirit? What can we do to replenish it today?
Two. Let your light spill, without asking, “Is it enough?” Or, “Do I have what it takes?”
Where do we begin in our broken world? We begin in the small world, the world right in front of us.
Rear Admiral Thornton Miller Chief was the Chaplain at Normandy in WWII. Someone asked him, “Up and down the beach, with the shells going everywhere, why did you do that?”
“Because I’m a minister.”
“But didn’t you ask if they were Catholic or Protestant or Jew?”
“If you’re a minister, the only question you ask is, ‘Can I help you?'”
Here’s the deal: We are all wounded healers (where our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing). No, this is not a strategy. This is a fact. It spills from those parts of our life that have been broken open, from those parts of us flawed and imperfect. So. What if this is not about accepting imperfection as some kind of divine teaching moment? What if the gift is in the inimitability of our humanity? When we embrace what is already inside, we live from the power of sufficiency, and let it spill.
I am (quite literally) here today because of people who let light (kindness, compassion, healing) spill in my life, at times when bleakness was too much to carry.
And I continue to write Sabbath Moment because I want to live in our real world, with a soft heart. Where hope is still real. I want to create places for sanctuary, empathy, inclusion, compassion, kindness and healing… spaces where we are refueled to make a difference.
Three. We show up.
As Ashley Judd noted when talking about her mother, “You can pretend to care. But you can’t pretend to show up.”
And my mantra (from David Orr). “The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their place. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane.”
It is worth repeating: we still need one another. Because no one of us is on this journey alone. Let us continue to grow and learn, and repent and heal.
This week watching the fires in Los Angeles, I can almost hear my hero’s voice (Mr. Rogers), “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” (Thank you Fred Rogers)
Hope comes from ordinary people who care. Helpers who try and give; and work to make safe places where we can heal. And grow.
How can I care for you?
How can I be there for you?
How can I pray for you?
“Let us keep reminding each other to breathe, to smile, to treat ourselves and one another with kindness.” Denise Roy
Stay warm this week.
Stay hydrated.
And be on the lookout for hands to hold.
Quote for our week…
Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes – including you.
Anne Lamott
BULLETIN BOARD
Today’s Photo Credit: “Dear Terry, Pettifoggery? That one caught my attention! It sounded like a word out of a Charles Dickens novel, ha! I had to look it up. What a great word. And of course its roots are in England. Unfortunately there are times when I excel at pettifoggery. And that’s when your words so often remind me about the present moment, and about the surrounding holiness right under my nose. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ill. I hope there’s plenty of rest and comfort in your day. Maybe some hot chocolate. A fireplace. A dog would be good. Or a cat. A favorite blanket. Heck, I’m talking myself onto the couch right now! I’m going to attach a couple of photos I took earlier in the week at Pinnacles National Park. It was my first visit. Wow. It was a heck of a climb to see the high peaks, but oh so worth it. I wore out all the superlatives. And we got to see California Condors which is a rare thing indeed. With all good wishes and gratitude,” Mary Ajideh… Thank you Mary… And thank you to all, I love your photos… please, keep sending them… send to terryhershey.com
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Letters that do my heart good…
–Loved your SM today. Such a touching story of kindness in the airport. Hope you are feeling much better. I just fixed my ailing hubby a cup of hot tea… y’all get well, ya hear! Becky
–Good morning Terry, I so appreciated today’s Sabbath Moment. And just so you know and embrace that, You are a story of love and that is where your light spills. Just so you know. Linda
–Love the idea of hydrating better physically, mentally, and spiritually! Bless you for your work and comfort and stimulating ideas to help me grow. thank you. Mary
–Nothing fancy, but when I woke up this morning and looked out over my backyard in Springfield, Massachusetts, I was gifted by this beautiful moon. And when I took the picture with my phone, I loved the way it seemed to reach out and hug me. Ready to face the day now. Thank you. Terry, for your powerful ministry and messages. Keep spilling your light! Jennie
–Your sharing what you wrote to us today is what endears you to us.You are not preaching to us, but sharing your thoughts and in doing so we know we are not alone…yes, we are walking each other home. We live in a very broken World which seems to get smaller each day God needs each or us to reach out and hopefully touch another daily. As you ask, we can share Sabbath Moment with others. With Gods help we can make this World a better place, just as you are trying to do. God bless you today and always. Elaine
–The WWI story has been told and retold but you brought it to a new depth in the world of today. You have never written a more meaningful Sabbath Moment that I’ve have read. Thank you and bless your Christmas and your forever! patti